3. Bryan Bennett
Remember the controversial question posed by ESPN in one of their articles, what if Michael Vick was white? Well if Bryan Bennett went around Oregon karate chopping couple of pittbulls then you would finally have your answer to that question. He is smooth as silk and quick as lighting, a true definition of “white chocolate”. The only doubt about Bryan’s ability seems to be whether he has the smarts to play quarterback position at a high level. However, in Oregon’s automated offensive scheme it might not even matter since Bryan simply has to reads the defensive end to make one of the following three choices: pass to the one lone read, hand the ball off to the running back, or keep the ball himself and run like hell as if he was Lamichael James’ girlfriend. White chocolate is going to have a great year.
2. Steven Manfro
The white mamba is having a breakout spring, getting on the pages of every college football news sites out there on this interwebythingy. But to call Steven the white mamba is to take the easy way out, kind of like calling Jeremy Lin the yellow mamba, where is the creativity in that? So I will now officially refer to Manfro as the “albino roadrunner”. You might be saying to yourself, roadrunner? Okay I get that roadrunner is suppose to be fast and all but to name a football player after a cute animal that goes meep meep? Well buddy, why don’t you do yourself a favor and take a look at this video and tell me if you still think the roadrunner is a cute tame animal. What you will see in that video is a roadrunner that performs a take down on a rattlesnake only to do an animal version of curb stopping on the unsuspecting snakes head so that he can eat the snake alive…as a whole! That’s right, that’s the roadrunner that Steven Manfro is, not the ACME version. Unsuspecting looking on the outside, but unbelievably quick and deadly on the inside. Here comes Steven Manfro bitches and he is saying…. Meep meep motherfucker. Meep meep.
1. Stanford White Guys
Now that the white bucktooth quarterback jihad has left for Indianapolis, Stanford is left with a two headed quarterback race between Josh Nunes and Brett Nottingham. For those that do not know, both Josh Nunes and Brett Nottingham were UCLA recruits, but with each taking a totally different route to make their way into Stanford. Josh Nunes was picked over for Richard Breahaut by coach Norm Chow and later accepted the Stanford offer to head up to google land. Brett Nottingaham on the other hand was a lone UCLA QB commit the following year, who left us standing on the alter because he could not reject the Stanford offer that he received at the very last moment. This decision by Nottingham was somehow right before the implementation of the Pistol offense by Rick Neuheisel, so can you really blame Brett for taking off after seeing how our offense turned out? I mean that would be like me pissing on some escort that ran out of hotel room at the last moment after she saw me assembling my homemade fucking machine called “anal roadrunner”. No blame needed rather an appreciation for seeing the future. Anyway, no matter who they choose to lead their 1950′s power style offense, Stanford with it’s 47 five star offensive lineman and 29 four star tight ends will make sure that success will follow him.