Who is Joe Tresey? He is mainly known for being the former defensive coordinator for Brian Kelly while Kelly was at Cinncinnatti. He was then fired by Brian for unknown reason which was the hiccup on Tresey’s resume that had to be cleared by Rick himself before being hired as the new UCLA Dc. Now he clearly wasn’t Rick’s first choice by any means with Tresey being a 4-3 guy while Rick desired a 3-4 formation on defense. However Tresey is believed to be a fiery coach with an type A personality which is what UCLA clearly needs on it’s coaching staff.
Not much multimedia is out there for Joe but here is an interview he conducted while serving as the defensive coordinator for USF.
For the love of god Rick, who is the next defensive coordinator for the UCLA bruins? WHO IS IT RICK? WHO????????????
Here is your new UCLA defensive coordinator, Steve Brown. Now you want some valid info on him? Go to BRO man, I know nothing. What I do know is that he looks very smooth. Kind of like a lighter Billy Dee Williams. “You want blitz baby? You got it if you act cool~ Relax~~ And open up some 3-4 formation to get that pressure you been wanting… Yeah~~ That cool refreshing pressure….. Blitz baby blitz… It works everytime~.” *wink*
Jim Mastro from Nevada (known for inventing and utilizing the pistol offense) is the new TE and F back coach for the UCLA bruins. Mastro’s bio can be found here. Do I like this hire? Well yes and yes. I love anytime UCLA hires a coach with a weird last name that I can make some crappy photoshop joke out of, it just makes my job hell of a lot easier. Additionally, this means that we might be able to utilize Anthony Barr from just a blocker to a player who can utilize his 4.4 speed out in space. Furthermore, Mastro will definitely improve the running game by utilize different formation including the right way to use the ‘pistol’ to make the UCLA offense more versatile. Kind of like how I am with the ladies. You black? Okay good, my favorite. You white? Okay good, my favorite. You a tranny? Okay not that versatile.
Forget my previous post about the potential coach that was spotted during practice, our staff has learned (again by staff I mean my imagination) that CRN was not in cabo vacationing but rather to interview a new defensive coordinator. Not much is known besides the name Bernie Lomax, but he is thought to be very stoic, expressionless if you will, a kind of a calm leader. His friends describe Bernie as more animated version of Norm Chow. More to come as the news develops, but Bernie is thought to be the life of the party, although I hear that there is one small problem.
secret shot of rumored ucla defensive coordinator
First it was Randy Shannon but he was too ahem… urban for UCLA. Then it was Rocky Seto but he turned out to be a love child between Pete Carroll and one of SC Asian song girls which canceled him out instantly. But now, now it seems we have that mystery candidate for the defensive coordinator position that we have been seeking for all this time. Going by the secret shots attain by our TMZ like staff, and by staff meaning my imagination, you can see him checking out the UCLA practices in the above pic. Not much is known about this candidate, besides the fact that he appears to be a former NFL defensive tackle judging by his body type. Additionally, he is rumored to be a very private person but ultra aggressive in his schemes, especially when someone tries to take away his beef jerky. Let’s just pray that he is not connected to USC in any way, although going by the above picture, he seems to share some blood lines with Ed Orgeron.
rick neuheisel hiring everyone
Rocky Seto, or Kato to Rick’s Green Hornet, is the new DC at UCLA. Now am I being racist with this analogy? I dont think so. Maybe I am Asian and I can make analogies like this ever think of that? Or maybe I am a former fat jewish actor now a semi fat jewish actor who is playing a green hornet so I have the excuse to use the kato reference, you think of that? Oh boy let the melt down at BRO begin folks, and please hide ya kids, hide ya wife, infact hide your husband cause Ricks hiring every SC personnel out hea.
Reports are coming out on BRO forum (aka. TMZ of UCLA sports) that former defensive coordinator for Michigan Wolverines, Greg Robinson was seen walking around the UCLA campus recently. I think it’s time for an animated gif time to express my feelings over this news.
Tracy Pierson from Bruin Report Online has reported that former San Francisco 49′ers offensive coordinator, Mike Johnson was spotted at UCLA today. Now this could mean one of many things, none of which is good for Norm Chow. One, it could mean Chow is for sure gone to Utah and Mike Johnson will be taking over. Two, it could mean Chow has been demoted to QB coach with Mike Johnson taking over the offensive coordinator role. Or three, it could mean I need to get a f’n life and stop following these coaching rumors as if my left ball depended on it. I think it’s three.