Westbrook, Long Tradition Of UCLA Hipsters

ben howland, copying hipster russell westbrook

I see everyone is going ape shit over the outfit that Russell Westbrook wore to the post game press conference after game one of the western conference semi finals. For those of you who missed it, here is what Russell decided to put on his body before speaking to the media. Now do I think that it’s a horrible outfit? Kind of, mainly because of the gold that is blinging off that watch he is sporting goes against everything that us hipsters stand for. To truly go hipster, Westbrook needed to sport a retro Casio digital watch with a built in calculator or at the very least a neon rubber watch that has one of the superheros from DC comics as a dial (Not Marvel, that shit is sooooo overplayed). But a gold diamond encrusted Rolex, Russell? No hipster no..

To the people outside of westwood, you guys need to realize that we here at UCLA are always at the cutting edge when it comes to cultural trends and will not be manipulated by the mass media into thinking that the outfit Russell Westbrook wore is something to be ashamed of. Wait, are you reading this blog on a PC and not a mac? Let me guess, a Hewlett Packard laptop or HP as you guys call it? Ugh, figures… I don’t even know why I try anymore. .

tradition of hipsters at UCLA

Posted on May 16, 2012 in basketball, football, misc, photoshop, top stories 2 Comments

UCLA beats SC, Josh Smith Punished for doing cardio.

ucla beats usc

I have this thing called income tax which has been keeping me busy from updating this site, but if anything was going to bring me out of this massive pile of receipts I have on top of me (it’s not for filing taxes, I just like rubbing receipts against my naked body), it is going to be seeing us beating up on the helpless USC trojans for the third time this year in basketball. Also for those of you who watched the game and wondered why Josh Smith didn’t play in the first half, he was actually being punished by Howland for missing the team bus yet still being a fraction of a second faster in arriving to the staple center. You read that correct, Josh walked a block from the Marriot to the Staple Center burning off excess calories in the process to help him slim down for the upcoming run in the Pac 12 tournament but Ben wasn’t having none of that bullshit excuse. There will be no Reeves Nelson part deux this time around. I would say a better punishment would have been for Josh to walk around the block about 20 more times and to have him play every minute of the game from beginning to end, but hey I ain’t the round ball coach.

The basketball season has finally kicked off for the bruins, and it will be single elimination tournament for us form now on. We play Arizona Mildcats tomm at 2:40 pm and they will be missing the services of their starting point guard Josiah Turner due to him being suspended for violation of team rules. As a bruin fan I am sadden by this news since Josiah was a great asset for us bruins with his mastery of driving the lane and missing a quadruple pump fake reverse layup while literally no other player is within his 3 feet radius. Now it will be a much tougher game. I still think we have a great chance of winning it because it is basically a home game for UCLA and frankly Arizona should have lost the last game against us when we played them up at shithole….err I mean Tucson. I predict a score of 67-61 with UCLA coming out on top off a big game from Josh Smith and the Wear twins.

Posted on March 8, 2012 in basketball 1 Comment

Hitler Finds Out UCLA Passed On Jeremy Lin

And yes, I did spend about 2 hours last night making this crap.

The ads in the beginning of the video are not mine but inputted automatically by youtube for the movie company that developed the hitler film. They gotta get paid somehow for all the hitler spoofs.

Posted on February 22, 2012 in misc, recruiting, video 1 Comment

Ben Howland Doesn’t Seem To Like Sean Miller And Vice Versa

ucla vs arizona handsahke vs ucla vs asu handshake

After battling the flu like an ultimate fighter made out of pure awesomeness, I am back with a vengeance to give you, the three avid readers of my blog the content that you guys are craving for. When the question was presented by me on my last post as to what clips you guys desired from last week’s UCLA basketball games, I got an email from an Arizona Wildcat fan who asked me about what I thought of the cold and short post game handshake between Sean Miller and Ben Howland.

Well, It was more of a giving of the skin than a handshake actually, scratch that, I would describe it as a hand shank from Sean Miller to Ben’s reached out hand because it happened at such blurring speed and precision that it could only be duplicated by a weapon carved out of a toothbrush. In contrast, when ASU basketball team lost to UCLA later in the same week, as you can see from the picture above that I was afraid that Ben and Herb were about to get their brokeback on me before my castro district virgin eyes. Anyways, enough of my rambling inside you will find the videos of the following:

- Anthony Stover’s double fist pump celebration after making a free throw and his teammates reaction to that Farve like celebration.

- Sean Miller doing the Tebow after his players turns it over, man that man’s swag knows no boundaries.

- The post game handshake comaprison video between Howland and Herb (01.07.12) vs Howland vs Miller (01.05.12)

Enjoy, and again remember the use the 720p option on the bottom right of the youtube player if you have the internet connection to handle the speed.

Posted on January 10, 2012 in basketball, coaching, rumor, video Leave a comment

Reeves Nelson Suspended Indefinitely, Rick Neuheisel Needs To Be Let Go.

reeves nelson suspended by UCLA

Reeves Nelson has been suspended indefinitely by coach Ben Howland (you can read about the official report here). The rumor around the reason for this particular suspension is that Reeves Nelson went berserk on the team after the LMU game, and especially on the Wear Twins for taking the majority of the shots while not playing the game with a team oriented focus.

Reeves is like the Muhammed Ali of UCLA basketball, if Ali was a crazy looking white kid who sulks constantly or a so called teamwork oriented player who refused to participate in huddles during timeouts cause things were not going his way. You know, a true selfless leader. Do I need to bring back the clip of Reeves Nelson throwing the ball at his teammate Brandon Lane again? If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks likes a duck, the chances are it’s a fucken duck. Reeves has been pointed out by many writers as well as other observers who attend UCLA practices and games that he is a short fused basketball Jihad waiting to happen, and guess what? Boom motherfucker. Boom! I am done defending Reeves. Time to say Adios and move on.

UCLA sports wise, last weekend was like having a colonoscopy done with a mammoth sized high definition camera, extremely painful but totally necessary to diagnose the problems that exists within UCLA athletics. For football, Rick needs to be let go, scrap the damn pistol cause the only thing it does is make the viewers want to do is pull out a real pistol and blow away the television from watching 39 run plays in a row, and offer 3 million to a big time football coach who can take over UCLA football to lead it back to respectability. Oh yeah, and also pay the assistants for that big time football coach some Norm Chow type of money. For basketball, the process seems to be under way. Get back to your identity Coach Howland, recruiting hard nosed defensive minded kids who want to play for you.